Body image and insecurity

Body image and insecurity is hard wired into every female brain, its a fact of life. More often than not I find myself looking away from the mirror while I'm changing or getting out of the shower, even more now since I had my son 5 months ago. I can't leave my house without some form of makeup on and hair at least looking presentable. But when do these small habits become dismorphic disorders? When do we stop seeing ourselves as we are to other people?
I started at the age of 14, binging and purging; daily, twice daily, sometimes more. I wanted nothing more than to be small, to have a gap between my thighs and to look good in clothing. All I ended up with was an eating disorder and awful breath.
Then I got older, 20 to be exact, and realized I was fine, until I got pregnant and just grew and grew and grew. Now I'm left with a stretched out body, mapped with the lines of life. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my son but this new body takes getting used to; to say the least.
Looking at my own body is now a chore in itself. I find myself nitpicking every little detail, from my breasts not being big or perky enough to my neck being to short or even my rib cage sticking out too far (it's a real concern). I can't help but feel like when I ask "does this make me look fat" that I'm constantly being lied to. Because, let's be honest, who's going to tell a woman "yes, you look absolutely huge today"?
The little voice in the back of my head says "love yourself" and "you're beautiful the way you are". But, the even louder voice in the forefront says "o dear lord, you're going out like that?".
I can only hope that at some point in my life the louder voice will realize that life is too short to pick at every flaw. Until then I can only avert my eyes from the mirrors while I stand naked and vulnerable.