Friendship

Friendship has always been a hardship for me. I've never had a "bff" bond until Cait came along. I never have really been able to male the connection with other people and allowed them to really get into my life. In my 22 years I've learned that people are greedy and will turn their back on you any chance they can. I don't talk to ANYONE I was friends with in highschool, cosmetology school, or my "club phase" (thanks a lot for that). I understand that its quality over quantity but its depressing going weeks without any kind of human interaction, other than a 6 month old. Maybe I'm just awkward (I don't do well in public situations), maybe I'm cold(I don't like really talking to people on a regular basis), or maybe its not me at all, maybe everyone I've ever tried to fit in with was never worth my time. Either way, I want to feel connected to people again :/

Vegan/ raw diet?

So I've been hearing quite a bit about raw/vegan diets, which actually sound quite awesome if I do say so myself. Don't get me wrong, I love me a good Bacon cheese burger every so often but, I have some baby weight to shed. Has anyone ever used a vegan/raw diet before? And if so would you suggest it/ did it work?

The hippie in me

So I haven't blogged in a bit because I've been busy with this and that. But over the weekend I decided I needed something new. So, my dreadies were born! Probably the most time consuming, head numbing, head cramping process I've ever had to deal with. But! Well worth it!
I've always had a huge tree-hugging-peace-loving hippie inside me (despite my outwardly "punk" look). I love that a hair style can make you just feel like a completely new and complete person. I'm, for once, completely at peace with the way I look; even with a big fuzz ball on my head!

Love

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

This quote means more and more to me every time I read it. Maybe it's because of my son. Maybe it's because I know the feeling of true love.
Seeing a love change and crumble basically over night was the most heart wrenching experiences of my life. Trying to get it back to what it was has been the most exhausting.
It's my belief that love is love no matter who it is from real father, step father, husband, wife, best friend, cousin, whom ever it is. If that persons happiness and well being come first or you would fight tooth and nail for that person it doesn't matter.
A child is born knowing nothing but love. So, why should that change based on blood? Is blood really so important in loving a child like your own? Does that mean that the child is deserving of less love? Should a child be punished for a mothers mistake?
I don't believe that love should be based on blood and blood alone; a child is an innocent bystander in life. If love is all a child knows, or anyone else for that matter, than it doesn't matter whom that love is coming from.
"All you need is love" 

Hobby

I officially need a hobby. With a friend moving away, my boyfriend being 1000 miles away and being between jobs I get lonely. I love Findley but let's be honest, he's not really one for good conversation. So hobbiests! Give me some fees back!!!

Body image and insecurity

Body image and insecurity is hard wired into every female brain, its a fact of life. More often than not I find myself looking away from the mirror while I'm changing or getting out of the shower, even more now since I had my son 5 months ago. I can't leave my house without some form of makeup on and hair at least looking presentable. But when do these small habits become dismorphic disorders? When do we stop seeing ourselves as we are to other people?
I started at the age of 14, binging and purging; daily, twice daily, sometimes more. I wanted nothing more than to be small, to have a gap between my thighs and to look good in clothing. All I ended up with was an eating disorder and awful breath.
Then I got older, 20 to be exact, and realized I was fine, until I got pregnant and just grew and grew and grew. Now I'm left with a stretched out body, mapped with the lines of life. Now, don't get me wrong, I love my son but this new body takes getting used to; to say the least.
Looking at my own body is now a chore in itself. I find myself nitpicking every little detail, from my breasts not being big or perky enough to my neck being to short or even my rib cage sticking out too far (it's a real concern). I can't help but feel like when I ask "does this make me look fat" that I'm constantly being lied to. Because, let's be honest, who's going to tell a woman "yes, you look absolutely huge today"?
The little voice in the back of my head says "love yourself" and "you're beautiful the way you are". But, the even louder voice in the forefront says "o dear lord, you're going out like that?".
I can only hope that at some point in my life the louder voice will realize that life is too short to pick at every flaw. Until then I can only avert my eyes from the mirrors while I stand naked and vulnerable.

Let me introduce myself

Hey, I'm Kaleigh. I'm a 21 year old stay at home "single" mommy to my adorable son Findley. He is my world and my everything. I have a very loving boyfriend who's stationed in the middle of the country and about 100 miles away. This blog is about me, my life, and everyone who has made the choice to be part of it (and some that didn't). I will whine, and complain, and bitch about my life. But I'll also share my joy and love and happiness with all whom read. So, enjoy, criticize, laugh, cry, and connect <3